Pray.

I don't kneel down next to the bed and pray every night or go all the way to say blessings during meal. However, from time to time, I do have silent prayers. For instance while driving and seeing an old person crossing the road, I'd say a little prayer, hoping good will come to that person. Sometimes when I see people sitting by the road side, begging for money. The silent prayers in me would forward my hope that they will be 'shown' or see a way to make a better living.

Anyway, today my silence prayer shall be enblog in yonderzone because it's relevant to me and not many visit this blog of mine therefore, can be quite private. Ok I pray that the submission for an online art contest wins the prize. Although the prize is attractive, yet most important;y is, it proves that I have a natural and creative sense of artistry. Please, I pray it be real.

This reminds me back in 1987, I won a yellow F&N school bag. In fact, I did not remember submitting an entry nor even get recognize for a prize. Seeing it as one of my unconcious achievements, I didn't persue that nor anyone in my family encourage me to follow my heart. Yet, as time went by, I took a different turning to become who I am today. Similarly, it is also a shot in the dark of my choice in profession. Nevertheless, over the years and still I am lying to my very self because I don't see that I am good at anything I am doing professionally. Others can comment that I am good at this and that. At times also said I am wasting my talent (technical) qualification doing something else. Given a choice for anybody, forgetting any economical or financial restrain, would you have chosen to be yourself or be where the trend heading to?

I will be lying to myself even more if I really win this conteest because never in my life I have win or recognise this grandly. Ultimately this means if 10 years ago, I have followed my dream and find the ways to make it a profession, I would have very much be doing what I loved to do most.

Therefore, I pray to prove that I have lied to myself for so many years. Let the lie be truth and I shall be changed forever. Amen!